Confessions of a 28 year old…
I’ve heard of people freaking out about turning 30. Or 50. Or 65. But, no amount of Googling is coming up with a “28-year-old midlife crisis”… wth?
I’ll be 28 this week. Sounds young, right? And turning 28 doesn’t really mean anything – no insurance discounts, I can already rent a car, buy cigarettes and get drunk legally… but for some reason the thought of turning 28 has me beside myself. Weird, I know.
It started last week, when I actually realized my birthday was rapidly approaching. I spent the next 24,48,36 hours reminiscing. Then *BAM* Whitney Houston died. Seems irrelevant, but my childhood is filled with memories that were directly related to her and her amazing voice. I can’t say it came as a surprise, as I was well aware that my childhood idol had some personal issues, but she was only 48. Only 20 years older than I am. Then my thought process went as follows:
Woe is me –> OMG Whitney is gone –> I miss elementary school when things were so much easier –> all the journals & records I used to keep –> remembering the goals I set for myself –> the hidden letter stored in the crawl space that I wrote for myself and have never opened.
Yes – there is a letter in a box, somewhere in the heap in our crawl space that I actually wrote to myself when I was young. I’ve never opened it. Mostly because I vividly recall writing down all the things I wanted to achieve at an early age. I don’t remember really WHAT those goals were, and considering I was so young when I wrote it, I’m sure there isn’t anything too mind-blowing, but still. I’m too scared to open it knowing that there is a chance I will let my younger self down.
Again – I know this is all absolutely absurd. If I’m freaking out about turning 28, God help us all when I near an actual milestone.
I feel bad for not blogging much recently – hence my online confession here. So to all of those who keep emailing me every single day– I apologize for my cyber absence – life has gotten the best of me recently.
So, after a minor breakdown in my car during my morning commute, and again prior to writing this, I’ve come up with a solution.
STOP BEING SUCH A BABY!
- I have a beautiful family – a son that amazes me day in and day out, a husband I love with all my heart, two dogs that I pretend not to like but I really do, incredible parents, an extended family that most people would seriously envy…
- I consider myself to be mostly successful. I joined the military, put myself through school, have a job I love, and have every intention of working on my Masters this year (next month, actually).
- Despite my impression of the time that seems to be flying by too quickly for my comfort, I AM young… and in good health.
I know I can be a hard a** sometimes… but recently I’m struggling with kicking my own butt here. So, starting today, I vow to be happy, despite the wrinkle I found this week. And the gray hairs that I already see. And for those of you who live vicariously through my overly dramatic life, I promise to update my blog more often. If only to show you photos of my beautiful boy and all his craziness.
28 can’t be too bad, right?
By the way – I also make the following vows to keep myself sane:
- Get out of the house more between the months of November – March. I’m such a hermit in the winter. Ugh I hate the cold though…
- Start doing things for ME.
- Graduate Magna Cum Laude with my Masters in Strategic Management.
- Find something that somewhat resembles working out that I actually enjoy doing so I don’t have any excuses anymore
- Only eat junk food once a week.
- Teach Matthew something new every chance I can.
- Stop being so OCD with the house & accept that a clean house with a 2-year-old is a futile mission
- Travel more. Starting now. We don’t have to go on international adventures all the time – exploring in the states counts too.
As a side note here, if anyone wants to go on this “personal improvement” journey with me, I’d welcome the company 🙂
P.s. Per my new years resolution, I full intend on rocking the red lipstick on my bday 🙂