I’ve heard of people freaking out about turning 30. Or 50. Or 65. But, no amount of Googling is coming up with a “28-year-old midlife crisis”… wth?
I’ll be 28 this week. Sounds young, right? And turning 28 doesn’t really mean anything – no insurance discounts, I can already rent a car, buy cigarettes and get drunk legally… but for some reason the thought of turning 28 has me beside myself. Weird, I know.
It started last week, when I actually realized my birthday was rapidly approaching. I spent the next 24,48,36 hours reminiscing. Then *BAM* Whitney Houston died. Seems irrelevant, but my childhood is filled with memories that were directly related to her and her amazing voice. I can’t say it came as a surprise, as I was well aware that my childhood idol had some personal issues, but she was only 48. Only 20 years older than I am. Then my thought process went as follows:
Woe is me –> OMG Whitney is gone –> I miss elementary school when things were so much easier –> all the journals & records I used to keep –> remembering the goals I set for myself –> the hidden letter stored in the crawl space that I wrote for myself and have never opened.
Yes – there is a letter in a box, somewhere in the heap in our crawl space that I actually wrote to myself when I was young. I’ve never opened it. Mostly because I vividly recall writing down all the things I wanted to achieve at an early age. I don’t remember really WHAT those goals were, and considering I was so young when I wrote it, I’m sure there isn’t anything too mind-blowing, but still. I’m too scared to open it knowing that there is a chance I will let my younger self down.
Again – I know this is all absolutely absurd. If I’m freaking out about turning 28, God help us all when I near an actual milestone.
I feel bad for not blogging much recently – hence my online confession here. So to all of those who keep emailing me every single day– I apologize for my cyber absence – life has gotten the best of me recently.
So, after a minor breakdown in my car during my morning commute, and again prior to writing this, I’ve come up with a solution.
STOP BEING SUCH A BABY!
- I have a beautiful family – a son that amazes me day in and day out, a husband I love with all my heart, two dogs that I pretend not to like but I really do, incredible parents, an extended family that most people would seriously envy…
- I consider myself to be mostly successful. I joined the military, put myself through school, have a job I love, and have every intention of working on my Masters this year (next month, actually).
- Despite my impression of the time that seems to be flying by too quickly for my comfort, I AM young… and in good health.
I know I can be a hard a** sometimes… but recently I’m struggling with kicking my own butt here. So, starting today, I vow to be happy, despite the wrinkle I found this week. And the gray hairs that I already see. And for those of you who live vicariously through my overly dramatic life, I promise to update my blog more often. If only to show you photos of my beautiful boy and all his craziness.
28 can’t be too bad, right?
By the way – I also make the following vows to keep myself sane:
- Get out of the house more between the months of November – March. I’m such a hermit in the winter. Ugh I hate the cold though…
- Start doing things for ME.
- Graduate Magna Cum Laude with my Masters in Strategic Management.
- Find something that somewhat resembles working out that I actually enjoy doing so I don’t have any excuses anymore
- Only eat junk food once a week.
- Teach Matthew something new every chance I can.
- Stop being so OCD with the house & accept that a clean house with a 2-year-old is a futile mission
- Travel more. Starting now. We don’t have to go on international adventures all the time – exploring in the states counts too.
As a side note here, if anyone wants to go on this “personal improvement” journey with me, I’d welcome the company 🙂
P.s. Per my new years resolution, I full intend on rocking the red lipstick on my bday 🙂
I hate New Years resolutions because I never keep them. It’s exciting for the first month or two having a new goal, but by March at the latest I usually stop caring. So, this year I’ve decided to set easily achievable goals for 2012 as my “Official New Years Resolutions” and then today figure out a plan for the more important things, starting today (December 30, still in 2011, so NOT a new years resolution). If they aren’t actually labeled “resolutions,” or if I can accomplish them before March rolls around perhaps there is a better chance I can live up to my own high expectations.
So, here goes nothing…
THE OFFICIAL 2012 NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS:
1 – Wear red lipstick. Yep. None of that crappy red lip gloss stuff either – full-blown whintening-toothpaste-commercial red. I suppose the big question here is how I should really present myself with the red lips. Maybe pull my hair back and wear creepy eyeshadow. Perhaps I can also rock a cheap guitar and pretend like I’m part of the Robert Palmer “Addicted to Love” music video?
Nah – I’m thinking like a closeup of my mouth – I’ll just make that the background for my blog homepage. Something mildly provocative but kind of creepy at the same time? Almost Rocky-Horror-Picture-Show-Esque?
However, the true challenge in this resolution is actually making the red lipstick work, which required beautiful teeth. I’ve spent the last couple months in preparation for this already, becoming somewhat obsessed with my teeth. Fingers crossed by my birthday I’ll be able to rock these red babies.
2 – Stop looking at my cell phone in the car (while driving). I’m guilty despite the horrific videos they seem to play on the news each morning, or those commercials & billboards meant to scare the crap out of you enough to STOP texting while driving. Although I’ll admit that at one point I actually did post on Facebook, while driving, ABOUT one of those billboards. I suppose that was not the desired effect. Anyway, despite my horrible habit of feeling the need to constantly be connected to the world (although most of you don’t care about the fact that I saw that cow getting the crap scared out of him by a flock of birds) I hereby vow to stop using my phone entirely while driving from now on. That includes quick glances – my car DOES have a working clock, so there are no excuses. So for anyone trying to reach me while I’m in my car from now on, I apologize in advance that you’ll just have to wait.
3 – Reduce the frequency of swear words flying out of my mouth. I have a mouth like a sailor and don’t even realize it sometimes. I don’t want Matthew blurting out these terrible words so I better get this under control.
4 – Learn a new language. This one I don’t think I can achieve before March. Perhaps this would be better off in my December list? I haven’t yet decided WHAT language to learn, although I’m starting to lean more towards Spanish primarily because it will come him helpful here in the US and then also help me a lot with my job where I deal with people who speak Spanish every single day. But none of that ghetto Spanish, I’m thinking like Spain-Spanish. Besides, if I can learn Spanish and talk without my ridiculous white-girl-accent, then I’ll feel more confident learning a more challenging language.
Well, that’s about it. Four basic goals for 2012, 3 of which I’m pretty sure I can knock out before my interest fades. Wish me luck 🙂